thankful

  I had my first baby at 17 and from that day on my world changed. It wasnt about me anymore. The days of perfect jeans and LBd's were over, my brand of perfume was honeysuckle and spit up and to be honest I thought it was perfect and couldnt imagine what life was like before being a mother. My highlights or rare trips to get my hair done were over with and replaced by natural shimmery highlights that only kids can give you.

      Her father is my husband and we've had 2 more children together since then. The statistics were that we would be divorced by now. But we are still here, a team. Our main focus has always been the girls.

I have never been the perfect mother. I think every mama has those days where you just sit and imagine just 1 minute of peace and quiet, or a day without kids to just relax or even get things done that seem impossible when they are home and need something. But when I do get those few minutes or hours without the girls, im to exhausted to think about catching up on laundry or cleaning and im the kind of person that if everythings not where it should be, it makes me crazy. I have always wanted things to be a certain way, well, my way. Before I had kids, everything had its place. I feel like if the house is chaos, then life is chaos, and that we dont have control of any situation. I know that might sound a little crazy, but thats me.

   Its really amazing how becoming a mother changes you. In a way, I know that Rachel helped me grow up and showed me whats important in life. When Charly came along, that little angel taught me patience and quick reflexes when it comes to first aide. Little miss Summer has reminded me of just exactly how much I really took for granted sleep, and how even when she wakes up in the middle of the night and I look like a crazy person with bed head, rockin her and singing her back into dreamland, that I am loved. There is really nothing like holding a baby while they drift off to sleep. Its fascinating mixed with scary knowing that she depends on you to protect her from this crazy world we live in.

    My girls are precious and each 1 of them teach me something new everyday, when most of the time I try to be the teacher. I am so blessed and very thankful that God chose me to be their mama. I have been asked plenty of times if I regret becoming a mother so early, that I didnt have a chance to really live. Well, the way I see it is, meeting my husband and having Rachel, is what saved me at a time in my life when I was headed the wrong way.

   It hasnt been easy and we have had our share of bad times. But the good times definately outnumber the bad. Tonight, as we all snuggled up watching Tangled, Summer sawing logs in my arms, and the girls fighting over who had more blankets and munching down on trail mix, I thought to myself that life couldnt be more perfect.